The Twilight Saga 4: Breaking Dawn 12. Some People Just Don’t Grasp …

12. Some hatful but Dont Grasp The C oncept Of UnwelcomeI was pay eat up on the edge of sleep.The sun had risen behind the clouds an hour ago the forest was gray now instead of subdued. bandd curled up and passed f tout ensemble out nearly star, and Id woken him at dawn to trade take out. Even subsequentlywards huntning tout ensemble(prenominal) dark, I was having a weighty time reservation my brain closed in(p) up long bountiful to fall asleep, yet solidifications rhythmic mellow was alleviateing. One, two-three, four, ace, two-three, four dum dum-dum dam dull paw thuds once against the damp earth, everyplace and all over as he made the wide circuit surrounding the Cullens land. We were already wearing a trail into the ground. Seths mentations were empty, tho a blur of immature and gray as the woods flew past him. It was restful. It helped to fill my headspring with what he truism rather than letting my own images take center stage.And thusly Se ths piercing howl skint the early forenoon quiet.I lurched up from the ground, my front legs pulling toward a sprint before my hind legs were mangle the ground. I raced toward the place where Seth had frozen, listening with him to the tread of paws running in our direction.Morning, boys.A shocked whine broke by Seths teeth. And then we some(prenominal) snarled as we read loggerheadeder into the new thoughts.Oh, man Goa port, Leah Seth groaned.I stopped when I got to Seth, head thrown back, ready to howl again this time to complain.Cut the noise, Seth.Right. Ugh Ugh UghHe whimpered and pawed at the ground, scratching deep furrows in the dirt.Leah trotted into view, her small gray tree trunk weaving done the lowbrush.Stop whining, Seth. Youre such(prenominal) a baby.I growled at her, my ears flattening against my skull. She skipped back a step automatically.What do you debate youre doing, Leah?She huffed a heavy sigh. Its pretty obvious, isnt it? Im joining your crappy sub atomic renegade backpack. The vampires guard dogs. She barked out a low, sarcastic laugh.No, youre non. Turn almost before I rip out one of your hamstrings.Like you could savvy me.She grinned and coiled her body for launch. Wanna race, O fearless leader?I took a deep breath, filling my lungs until my fonts bulged. Then, when I was sure I wasnt divergence to scream, i exhaled in a gust.Seth, go let the Cullens survive that its fairish your dullard sister thought the talking to as harshly as possible. survey with this.On itSeth was only too happy to leave. He vanished toward the house.Leah whined, and she leaned after him, the fur on her shoulders rising. Youre exactly passing to let him run out to the vampires alone?Im pretty sure hed rather they took him out than spend some new(prenominal) minute with you.Shut up, Jacob. Oops, Im sorry meant, shut up, most high Alpha.why thehell be you here?You study Im just going to get home tour my lower-ranking brother volunt eers as a vampire chew play topic?Seth doesnt need or need your protection. In fact, no one pauperisms you here.Oooh, ouch, thats gonna leave ahuge mark. Ha, she barked. Tell me who does want me around, and Im outta here.So this isnt around(predicate) Seth at all, is it?Of course it is. Im just pointing out that being un cherished is non a first for me. Not really a motivating factor, if you experience what I mean.I gritted my teeth and tried to hold out my head straightaway.Did sur prospect-to-air missile send off you?If I was here on Sams errand, you wouldnt be able to divulge me. My trueness is no longstanding with him.I listened cargonfully to the thoughts mixed in with the words. If this was a diversion or a ploy, I had to be alert large to inspect through and through it. But in that respect was nothing. Her declaration was nothing plainly the truth. Un forgeting, almost despairing truth.Youre loyal tome now? I asked with deep sarcasm. Uh-huh. Right.My choices a re limited. Im working with the options Ive got. Trust me, Im not enjoying this each more than than you are.That wasnt true. There was an jittery good-hearted of excitement in her mind. She was unhappy intimately this, that she was as well relinquishing some weird high. I searched her mind, essay to understand.She bristled, resenting the intrusion. I unremarkably tried to tune Leah out Id never tried to make conscious(predicate)ness of her before.We were interrupted by Seth, theorizeing his explanation at Edward. Leah whined anxiously. Edwards present, framed in the a identical(p) malarkeyow as snuff it night, showed no reaction to the news. It was a blank face, dead.Wow, he looks self-aggrandizing,Seth muttered to himself. The vampire showed no reaction to that thought, either. He disappeared into the house. Seth pivoted and headed back out to us. Leah relaxed a be secondaryd.Whats going on?Leah asked. Catch me up to speed.Theres no point Youre not staying.Actu ally, Mr. Alpha, I am. Because since apparently I study to pass tosomeone and dont think I gullnt tried breaking off on my own, you know yourself how wellthat doesn t work choose you.Leah, you dont care me. I dont the interchangeable you.Thank you, Captain Obvious. That doesnt matter to me. Im staying with Seth.You dont corresponding vampires. Dont you think thats a little conflict of interest sound there?You dont like vampires either.But Iam perpetrate to this alliance. You arent.Ill reen sop upment my distance from them. I apprize run patrols out here, just like Seth.And Im speculate to trust you with that?She stretched her neck, leaning up on her toes, trying to be as tall as me as she stared into my eyes. leave not betray my pack.I wanted to throw my head back and howl, like Seth had before. This isnt your pack This isnt even a pack. This is just me, going off on my own What is it with you Clearwaters? Why cant you leave me alone?Seth, just advance up behind us n ow, whined Id offended him. Great.Ive been helpful, earnnt I, Jake?You generatent madetoo much a evil of yourself, fool, but if you and Leah are a package deal if the only way to get rid of her is for you to go home. Weil, can you blame me for deficient you gone?Ugh, Leah, you ruin everythingYeah, I know,she told him, and the thought was loaded with the heaviness of her despair.I felt the pain in the three little words, and it was more than I wouldve guessed. I didnt want to feel that. I didnt want to feel bad for her. Sure, the pack was rough on her, but she brought it all on herself with the freshness that tainted her every thought and made being in her head a nightmare.Seth was feeling guilty, too. Jake Youre not really gonna send me away, are you? Leahs not so bad. Really. I mean, with her here, we can push the perimeter out farther. And this puts Sam tidy sum to seven. Theres no way hes going to mount an set upon that outnumbered. Its probably a good thing.You know I d ont want to lead a pack, Seth.So dont lead us,Leah offered.I snorted. Sounds perfect to me. surpass along home now.Jake,Seth thought. belong here. I do like vampires. Cullens, anyway. Theyre mountain to me, and Im going to protect them, cause thats what were supposed to do. maybe you belong, kid, but your sister doesnt And shes going to go wherever you are I stopped short, because I saw something when I said that. Something Leah had been trying not to think.Leah wasnt going anywhere.Thought this was most Seth,I thought sourly.She flinched. Of course Im here for Seth.And to get away from Sam.Her jaw clenched. dont bedevil to explain myself to you. I just have to do what Im told. I belong to your pack, Jacob. The end.I paced away from her, growling.Crap. I was never going to get rid of her. As much as she disliked me, as much as she loathed the Cullens, as happy as shed be to go blot out all the vampires right now, as much as it pissed her off to have to protect them instead non e of that was anything compared to what she felt being free of Sam.Leah didnt like me, so it wasnt such a chore having me privation she would disappear.She loved Sam. gloss over. And having him proclivity she would disappear was more pain than she was willing to live with, now that she had a choice. She would have taken any other option. Even if it meant moving in with the Cullens as their swishdog.dont know if Id go that far, she thought. She tried to make the words tough, aggressive, but there were big cracks in her show. Im sure Id give killing myself a few good tries first.Look, LeahNo,you look, Jacob. Stop arguing with me, because its not going to do any good. Ill stay out ofyour way, okay? Ill do anything you want bar go back to Sams pack and be the pathetic ex-girlfriend he cant get away from. If you want me to leave she sat back on her haunches and stared straight into my eyes youre going to have tomake me.I snarled for a long, idle minute. I was beginning to feel so me sympathy for Sam, despite what he had done to me, to Seth. No question he was always ordering the pack around. How else would you ever get anything done?Seth, are you gonna get mad at me if I kill your sister?He pretended to think some it for a minute. Well yeah, probably.I sighed.Okay, then, Ms. Do-Anything-I-Want Why dont you make yourself useful by supposeing us what you know? What happened after we left last night?Lots of howling. But you probably hear that part. It was so loud that it took us a while to figure out that we couldnt hear either of you anymore. Sam wasWords failed her, but we could see it in our head. Both Seth and I cringed. After that, it was clear pretty quick that we were going to have to rethink things. Sam was cookery to talk to the otherElders first thing this morning. We were supposed to meet up and figure out a game plan. I could tell he wasnt going to mount other attack right away, though. Suicide at this point, with you and Seth AWOL and the sn agsuckers fore checked. Im not sure what theyll do, but I wouldnt be wandering the forest alone if I was a leech. Its open season on vamps now.You decided to skip the meeting this morning?I asked.When we split up for patrols last night, I asked permission to go home, to tell my mother what had happened Crap You told Mom?Seth growled.Seth, hold off on the sibling stuff for a sec. Go on, Leah.So once I was human, I took a minute to think things through. Well, actually, I took all night. I bet the others think I fell asleep. But the unharmed two-separate-packs, two-separate-pack-minds thing gave mea lot to sift through. In the end, I weighed Seths safety and the, er, other benefits against the stem of turning traitor and sniffing vampire stink for who knows how long. You know what I decided. I left a note for my mom. I expect well hear it when Sam finds out . ..Leah cocked an ear to the west.Yeah, I expect we will,I agreed.So thats everything. What do we do now?she asked.She and Seth both looked at me expectantly.This was exactly the kind of thing I didnt want to have to do.guess we just keep an eye out for now. Thats all we can do. You should probably take a nap, Leah.Youve had as much sleep as I have.Thought you were going to do what you were told?Right. Thats going to get old,she grumbled, and then she yawned. Well, whatever. I dont care.Ill run the border, Jake. Im not tired at all.Seth was so glad I hadnt forced them home, he was all but prancing with excitement.Sure, sure. Im going to go check in with the Cullens.Seth took off along the new path worn into the damp earth. Leah looked after him thoughtfully.Maybe a round or two before I crash. Hey Seth, wanna see how many times I can lap you?NOBarking out a low chuckle, Leah lunged into the woods after him.I growled uselessly. So much for peace and quiet.Leah was trying for Leah. She kept her jibes to a borderline as she raced around the circuit, but it was impossible not to be aware of her smug mood. I t hought of the whole twos company saying. It didnt really apply, because one was plenty to my mind. But if there had to be three of us, it was hard to think of anyone that I wouldnt trade her for.Paul?she suggested.Maybe,I allowed.She laughed to herself, too jittery and hyper to get offended, i wondered how long the buzz from dodging Sams pity would last.That will be my last then to be less annoying than Paul.Yeah, work on thatI changed into my other stimulate when I was a few yards from the lawn. I hadnt been homework to spend much time human here. But I hadnt been planning to have Leah in my head, either. I pulled on my ragged shorts and started crosswise the lawn.The door opened before I got to the steps, and I was strike to see Carlisle rather than Edward step outside to meet me his face looked exhausted and defeated. For a second, my heart froze. I faltered to a stop, unable to speak.Are you all right, Jacob? Carlisle asked.Is Bella? I choked out.Shes much the same as last night. Did I head start you? Im sorry. Edward said you were coming in your human form, and I came out to discern you, as he didnt want to leave her. Shes awake.And Edward didnt want to lose any time with her, because he didnt have much time left. Carlisle didnt say the words out loud, but he might as well have.It had been a while since Id slept since before my last patrol. I could really feel that now. I took a step forward, sat down on the porch steps, and slumped against the railing.Moving whisper-quiet as only a vampire could, Carlisle took a seat on the same step, against the other railing.I didnt get a incident to thank you last night, Jacob. You dont know how much I appreciate your compassion. I know your terminus was to protect Bella, but I owe you the safety of the rest of my family as well. Edward told me what you had to do___Dont mention it, I muttered.If you prefer.We sat in silence. I could hear the others in the house. Emmett, Alice, and Jasper, language in low, serious voices upstairs. Esme humming tunelessly in another(prenominal) room. Rosalie and Edward breathing close by I couldnt tell which was which, but I could hear the difference in Bellas labored panting. I could hear her heart, too. It seemed uneven.It was like fate was out to make me do everything Id ever sworn I wouldnt in the course of twenty-four hours. Here I was, hanging around, postponement for her to die.I didnt want to listen anymore. Talking was better than listening.Shes family to you? I asked Carlisle. It had caught my mark off before, when hed said Id helped the rest of his family, too.Yes. Bella is already a daughter to me. A lamb daughter.But youre going to let her die.He was quiet long enough that I looked up. His face was very, very tired. I knew how he felt.I can imagine what you think of me for that, he finally said. But i cant swerve her will. It wouldnt be right to make such a choice for her, to force her.I wanted to be angry with him, but he was making it hard. It was like he was throwing my own words back at me, just scrambled up. Theyd sounded right before, but they couldnt be right now. Not with Bella dying. Still I remembered how it felt to be broken on the ground under Sam to have no choice but be bear on in the murder of someone I loved. It wasnt the same, though. Sam was wrong. And Bella loved things she shouldnt.Do you think theres any chance shell make it? I mean, as a vampire and all that. She told me aboutabout Esme.Tel say theres an even chance at this point, he answered quietly. Ive seen vampire venom work miracles, but there are full terms that even venom cannot overcome. Her heart is working too hard now if it should fail there wont be anything for me to do.Bellas heartbeat throbbed and faltered, giving an harrowing emphasis to his words.Maybe the planet had started turning backward. Maybe that would explain how everything was the confrontation of what it had been yesterday how I could be hoping for what had on ce seemed like the very whisk thing in the world.What is that thing doing to her? I whispered. She was so much worse last night. I saw the tubes and all that. Through the window.The fetus isnt compatible with her body. Too strong, for one thing, but she could probably endure that for a while. The big problem is that it wont allow her to get the sustenance she needs. Her body is rejecting every form of nutrition. Im trying to establish her intravenously, but shes just not absorbing it. Everything about her condition is accelerated. Im watching her and not just her, but the fetus as well starve to death by the hour. I cant stop it and I cant slow it down. I cant figure out what it wants His weary voice broke at the end.I felt the same way I had yesterday, when Id seen the black stains across her stomach furious, and a little crazy.I clenched my give into fists to control the shaking. I hate the thing that was hurting her. It wasnt enough for the fiend to beat her from the i nside out. No, it was starving her, too. Probably just spirit for something to drop off its teeth into a pharynx to suck dry. Since it wasnt big enough to kill anyone else yet, it settled for sucking Bellas life story from her.I could tell them exactly what it wanted death and blood, blood and death.My skin was all hot and prickly. I respire slowly in and out, focusing on that to calm myself.I wish I could get a better idea of what exactly it is, Carlisle murmured. The fetus is well protected. I havent been able to produce an ultrasonic image. I question there is any way to get a needle through the amnionic sac, but Rosalie wont agree to let me try, in any case.A needle? I mumbled. What good would that do?The more I know about the fetus, the better I can estimate what it will be capable of. What I wouldnt give for even a little amniotic fluid. If I knew even the chromosomal countYoure losing me, Doc. Can you dumb it down?He chuckled once even his laugh sounded exhausted. Oka y. How much biology have you taken? Did you study chromosomal pairs?Think so. We have twenty-three, right? universe do.I blinked. How many do you have?Twenty-five.I frowned at my fists for a second. What does that mean?I thought it meant that our species were almost completely different. Less related than a lion and a house cat. But this new life well, it suggests that were more genetically compatible than Id thought. He sighed sadly. I didnt know to warn them.I sighed, too. It had been easy to hate Edward for the same ignorance. I still hated him for it. It was just hard to feel the same way about Carlisle. Maybe because I wasnt ten shades of jealous in Carlisles case.It might help to know what the count was whether the fetus was closer to us or to her. To know what to expect. Then he shrugged. And maybe it wouldnt help anything. I guess I just wish I had something to study, anything to do.Wonder what my chromosomes are like, I muttered randomly. I thought of those Olympic steroi ds tests again. Did they run DNA scans?Carlisle coughed self-consciously. You have twenty-four pairs, Jacob.I turned slowly to stare at him, raising my eyebrows.He looked embarrassed. I was curious. I took the liberty when I was treating you last June.I thought about it for a second. I guess that should piss me off. But I dont really care.Im sorry. I should have asked.Sokay, Doc. You didnt mean any harm.No, I promise you that I did not mean you any harm. Its just that I find your species fascinating. I suppose that the elements of vampiric nature have come to seem commonplace to me over the centuries. Your familys divergence from humanity is much more interesting. Magical, almost.Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo, I mumbled. He was just like Bella with all the magic garbage.Carlisle laughed another weary laugh.Then we heard Edwards voice inside the house, and we both paused to listen.Ill be right back, Bella. I want to speak with Carlisle for a moment. Actually, Rosalie, would you mind accompanyi ng me? Edward sounded different. There was a little life in his dead voice. A spark of something. Not wish exactly, but maybe the desire to hope.What is it, Edward? Bella asked hoarsely.Nothing you need to worry about, love. It will just take a second. Please, Rose?Esme? Rosalie called. Can you mindBella for me?Iheard the whisper of wind as Esme flitted down the stairs.Of course, she said.Carlisle shifted, twisting to look expectantly at the door. Edward was through the door first, with Rosalie right on his heels. His face was, like his voice, no longer dead. He seemed intensely focused. Rosalie looked suspicious.Edward shut the door behind her.Carlisle, he murmured.What is it, Edward? perhaps weve been going about this the wrong way. I was listening to you and Jacob just now, and when you were speaking of what the fetus wants, Jacob had an interesting thought.Me?What had thought? Besides my obvious hatred for the thing? At least I wasnt alone in that. I could tell that Edward had a difficult time using a term as mild as fetus.We havent actually addressed that angle, Edward went on. Weve been trying to get Bella what she needs. And her body is accepting it about as well as one of ours would. peradventure we should address the needs of the fetus first. Maybe if we can satisfy it, well be able to help her more effectively.Im not following you, Edward, Carlisle said.Think about it, Carlisle. If that creature is more vampire than human, cant you guess what it craves what its not getting? Jacob did.I did? I ran through the conversation, trying to remember what thoughts Id kept to myself. I remembered at the same time that Carlisle understood.Oh, he said in a surprised tone. You think it is thirsty?Rosalie hissed under her breath. She wasnt suspicious anymore. Her revoltingly perfect face wasall lit up, her eyes wide with excitement. Of course, she muttered. Carlisle, we have all that type O negative laid aside for Bella. Its a good idea, she added, not looking at me.Hmm. Carlisle put his hand to his chin, lost in thought. I wonder And then, what would be the best way to administer___Rosalie move her head. We dont have time to be creative. Id say we should start with the traditional way.Wait a minute, i whispered. Just hold on. Are you are you talking about making Bella fuddle blood?It was your idea, dog, Rosalie said, scowling at me without ever quite looking at me.I ignored her and watched Carlisle. That same ghost of hope that had been in Edwards face was now in the doctors eyes. He pursed his lips, speculating.Thats just I couldnt find the right word.Monstrous? Edward suggested. Repulsive?Pretty much.But what if it helps her? he whispered.I shook my head angrily. What are you gonna do, shove a tube down her throat?I plan to ask her what she thinks. I just wanted to run it past Carlisle first.Rosalie nodded. If you tell her it might help the baby, shell be willing to do anything. Even if we do have to feed them through a tube.I reali zed then when I heard how her voice got all loveydovey as she said the word baby that Blondie would be in line with anything that helped the little life-sucking monster. Was that what was going on, the mystery factor that was bonding the two of them? Was Rosalie after the kid?From the corner of my eye, I saw Edward nod once, absently, not looking in my direction. But I knew he was answering my questions.Huh. I wouldnt have thought the ice-cold Barbie would have a maternal side. So much for defend Bella Rosalied probably jam the tube down Bellas throat herself.Edwards mouth mashed into a hard line, and I knew I was right again.Well, we dont have time to sit around discussing this, Rosalie said impatiently. What do you think, Carlisle? Can we try?Carlisle took a deep breath, and then he was on his feet. Well ask Bella.Blondie grind smugly sure that, if it was up to Bella, she would get her way.I dragged myself up from the stairs and followed after them as they disappeared into t he house. I wasnt sure why. Just morbid curiosity, maybe. It was like a horror movie. Monsters and blood all over the place.Maybe I just couldnt resist another hit of my dwindling drug supply.Bella lay flat on the hospital bed, her belly a mountain under the sheet. She looked like wax pallid and sort of see-through. Youd think she was already dead, except for the tiny movement of her chest, her shallow breathing. And then her eyes, following the four of us with exhausted suspicion.The others were at her side already, flitting across the room with sudden darting motions. It was creepy to watch. 1 ambled along at a slow walk.Whats going on? Bella demanded in a shingly whisper. Her waxy hand twitched up like she was trying to protect her balloon-shaped stomach.Jacob had an idea that might help you, Carlisle said. I wished he would leave me out of it. I hadnt suggested anything. Give the credit to her bloodsucking husband, where it belonged. It wont be pleasant, but But it will h elp the baby, Rosalie interrupted eagerly. Weve thought of a better way to feed him. Maybe.Bellas eyelids fluttered. Then she coughed out a weak chuckle. Not pleasant? she whispered. Gosh, thatll be such a change. She eyed the tube stuck into her arm and coughed again.Blondie laughed with her.The girl looked like she only had hours left, and she had to be in pain, but she was making jokes. So Bella. move to ease the tension, make it better for everyone else.Edward stepped around Rosalie, no humor touching his intense expression. I was glad for that. It helped, just a little bit, that he was suffering worse than me. He took her hand, not the one that was still defend her swollen belly.Bella, love, were going to ask you to do something monstrous, he said, using the same adjectives hed offered me. Repulsive.Well, at least he was giving it to her straight.She took a shallow, fluttery breath. How bad?Carlisle answered. We think the fetus might have an appetite closer to ours than to yo urs. We think its thirsty.She blinked. Oh. Oh.Your condition both of your conditions are deteriorating rapidly. We dont have time to waste, to come up with more palatable ways to do this. The fastest way to test the possibility Ive got to drink it, she whispered. She nodded slightly barely enough energy for a little head bob. I can do that. Practice for the future, right? Her colourless lips stretched into a faint grin as she looked at Edward. He didnt smile back.Rosalie started tapping her toe impatiently. The sound was really irritating. I wondered what she would do if I threw her through a wall right now.So, whos going to catch me a old bear? Bella whispered.Carlisle and Edward exchanged a quick glance. Rosalie stopped tapping.What? Bella asked.It will be a more effective test if we dont cut corners, Bella, Carlisle said.Ifthe fetus is crave blood, Edward explained, its not craving animal blood.It wont make a difference to you, Bella. Dont think about it, Rosalie encouraged .Bellas eyes widened. Who? she breathed, and her gaze flickered to me.Im not here as a donor, Bells, I grumbled. Sides, its human blood that things after, and I dont think mine applies We have blood on hand, Rosalie told her, talking over me before Id finished, like I wasnt there. For you just in case. Dont worry about anything at all. Its going to be fine. I have a good feeling about this, Bella. I think the baby will be so much better.Bellas hand ran across her stomach.Well, she rasped, barely audible. Im starving, so Ill bet he is, too. arduous to make another joke. Lets go for it. My first vampire act.